Daily Read #10: Kwanzaa with a K

National Guard Weekend is this week. Ryan's Unit will have new purpose to their training as they and their families begin to prepare for next year's activation.
Here's a great opportunity to show your appreciation.
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Let your neighbors friends and family know about it so they can too, because when we're helping we're happy.

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I think that part of what a parent can do to create emotionally resilient children is to present their children with low threat opportunities to overcome some cognitive and emotional turbulence. I think it's kind of like those studies that show that parents who overuse hand sanitizers create children with less than robust immune systems. Parents who never let their children experience a wide range of emotions and cognitive realities such as the reality of even purposeful deception could arguably be doing them a disservice as they step out into a world taking everything that anyone says at full face value.

Now I'm not saying it's a good thing to carry this to the extremes of mental or emotional abuse or even to the extent where you lose your child's trust but a little harmless, 'gotcha' now and again if nothing else gives you a funny story later in life and arguably better prepares your children for interactions in the real world.

I say this as one whose parents did occasionally pull one over on their kids and we were left no worse for the wear. Rachel has been the first to have kids who were of the age where this is really possible but already they have some very funny 'everyday is April Fool's day stories'. Here are two.

Rachel's oldest came home from Kindergarten one day with the class photo roster. Below each child's picture was their first name on one line with their middle initial and then on the second line their last name. Emma of course was pleased to show her mom her classmates but also confused by her own picture where next to her first name instead of B for her middle initial there was a K. Too young to fully understand what a 'typo' is She of course asked her mom for an explanation.

Rachel thinking real quick looked at Emma with measured seriousness and said, 'Well actually we've needed to tell you about this for a while. The K is the first letter of your secret middle name.' Emma now in equal seriousness, 'I have a secret middle name?' Rachel, 'Yes, and it starts with K.' Emma of course pleased at this information in hushed tones asked, 'Well what is it?' Rachel had to think pretty quick and said the first exotic K word that came to mind, 'Kwanzaa'. Emma said to herself, Emma Belle Kwanzaa Palmer. Rachel of course got an immediate chuckle and Emma left quite content.

A few weeks passed and all involved had forgotten this interaction. Well all but one that is and as you may guess it wasn't Rachel. She of course was reminded when Emma introduced herself to a new neighbor as, Emma Belle Kwanzaa Palmer. Rachel had to explain to two people that day that Emma didn't have two middle names. Emma was no doubt a little disappointed* but some day she'll be told the story or maybe read about it on this blog and think, 'My mom was pretty cool'. [Disappointment will grow later in life when she realizes that there is a good chance anyone named Kwanzaa immediately receives a scholarship].

Even harmless teasing can have more of a potent effect than one initially anticipates. Rachel had her two younger daughters with her at a store after Halloween. As naturally happens the older of the two daughters wasn't keeping pace and was an aisle or two behind Rachel. Rachel turned to go back to get her just as she was passing some Halloween masks when inspiration struck. Rachel picked out a reasonably frightening mask with quite an ugly face and long stringy black hair. She then walked to the end of the aisle and called out to Sophie. Sophie came running around the corner and instead of seeing her mother saw a withered old hag that began to limp towards her.

Instead of the playful shriek that Rachel had predicted. Sophie froze in absolute terror. Rachel reacting without taking off the mask said Sophie's name and started to walk towards her to comfort her. Sophie finally broke the terror paralysis that had her feet glued to the floor now she began to scream, turned and ran straight into a display. Rachel now mask off picked up the quivering Sophie and began apologizing and probaby will be for a while still.

We all can laugh about it now and even Sophie will live to learn that's pretty funny. Rachel also gained a good opportunity to teach her children that even if you didn't intend for something to have the effect that it has you make apology for and seek forgiveness of all the consequences of your action.

Sophie still doesn't like masks and who can blame her, but all of the Palmer's girls are learning that to Error is human, to love, laugh and forgive are divine. No doubt the tables will turn at some point and Rachel and Ryan will have to dine on what they dish.

Make it easier for Ryan to see what's coming.

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Thanks.