Daily Read #24: Do you countdown?

So at what age did you stop counting down to Christmas? Maybe you haven't stopped. But at some point I did. Sure I still count down other things---days until that paper is due, hours until bedtime but days until Christmas...nope.

Unfortunate because we've had some really good ways to count down too.

Paper chains in early elementary school. Alternating red loops and green loops strung until they made it up to the golden bell. Grad School should do that too except instead of golden bell they could have a skull and cross bones.


[pict actually came from this blog; the author has on each loop a Christmasish activity that they then do as a family; kind of fun if you can tolerate that much holiday cheer :]

One year we had a long chain made of saran saran wrap; every few inches there was a pouch of cinnamon bears or maybe Hershey's kisses. We'd unwrap one pouch an evening until the big night.

Then there is the classic Christmas chocolate window advent. We each were given one one year. I'm surprised I ever had that kind of will power. Maybe I didn't and that's why they were a one time treat.

The wonderous fabric of felt gave our family two unique advents. One that looked a little bit like this with an ornament you would pin on for every day leading up to Christmas.


The other was for when we were on our missions. The internet failed to give me a picture and I'll do a bad job of describing it maybe I'll get a picture later. It had a dowel that went up from a stand and there were twenty four pockets made out of green felt that made up the Christmas tree for twenty four little individually wrapped presents. It was the envy of all other missionaries well except when I had it in my luggage in the MTC...in June. One particularly memorable gift was these little single serve squeeze packets of skippy peanut butter. To a missionary in Korea it was like a prisoner getting a little packet of freedom.

Well lame post I know, but I think this is close to the 20,000th word I've written today. You got the last couple I could massage out of my finger tips [I'm afraid the cream got splattered elsewhere].

The reason for the countdown theme is that I've obviously added one because tomorrow is the first day your view matters (well to someone besides me) No it's not a countdown till Christmas but one to get to the end of the Pledge date for Santa's Bag of Books. So far we have $1.35 per view in pledges but of course we could always use more--click the picture of the 'Change' and see what you can do (if you can't do more than a penny, it will be appreciated nonetheless). You can see what the traffic for this week looked like at the bottom of the blog to see what your pledge would translate too [Monday kind of inflated the numbers a bit].

And if nothing else come back daily and don't forget to bring a friend. Probably one of the best ways to get them here is to add our button to your blog's sidebar. They'll click through out of curiosity and my wit and charm will keep them coming back for more :)

Daily Read #23: Modernizing the Myths and Magic of Christmas

***Father Christmas Spoiler Alert***
If you are reading the blog out loud to your children as you eat dinner together you may want to skip over this one. If you still believe in Santa yourself, keep it up and come back tomorrow you've made it this far I don't want to be the one to change that.
***Father Christmas Spoiler Alert***

So my daughter announced today when I got in the car that Santa Claus was going to bring her presents. I looked at my wife and she said, I had to tell her but I felt kind of guilty doing it because it feels like I'm lying. I of course said that's because you are, but it likely won't be the last time either so you need to be less conscionable about it. I'm fine if she believes in unicorns, magic shows and muppets, Santa Claus is just one more fond deception she'll look back on and thank us for maintaining as long as we can.

However there are a few updates that must be made to the Santa myth in order for me to 'sell' it to my children.

First the elves don't make the toys--they haven't since the development of modernized overseas markets, assembly lines and synthetic plastics. The elves man customer service call centers and provide technical support. Yes the elves are a little hard of hearing (surprising because of their ear size) which is why Daddy speaks loudly to them and those words that Daddy doesn't want you to say are 'Elvish'-you can say them too when you are an adult and speaking to an Elf about your insurance billing.

Santa doesn't ride in a sleigh anymore. He drives a red hybrid with the horsepower of eight tiny reindeer. Lacking towing capacity you say? It's okay because he just uses it to get to public appearances and church on Sunday. The toy delivery well he's converted to drop shipping.

He had to relocate his headquarters since Al Gore started traipsing round the arctic circle. He's now based out of South America. The packages get sent out piece by piece in little brown boxes marked 'Amazon'.

Santa's appearance. Yup that too needs a make over. First Beards are creepy, I would like my children to be distrustful of men in beards who want them to sit on their lap all year round. No exceptions. Also Santa's quit smoking and cut down on that highly dangerous belly fat. He's every bit as jolly as ever because yes 'skinny' people can be merry too.

In fact, Santa now looks a lot like this:

Okay so this is Daddy's boss and thesis chair, but whether or not you get Christmas this year or in years future depend on whether he thinks Daddy's been naughty or nice. Oh and no calling him Santa to his face, it's Dr. Claus to you and Daddy.

Santa's dress yep since he lost all that weight and relocated, he dresses better too. No more fur and red velvet. He now sports a poly-synthetic red track suit with reflective trim; it wicks as he works no one wants a sweaty Santa. The boots were switched out for some ergonomic running shows that help prevent over-pronation.

There are also not elves who watch you to see if you are being good. Again we're eliminating all the really creepy parts of the myth. Mommy and Daddy regularly do performance evaluations with Santa via skype and we've implanted a sensor that tracks your time in the 'timeout' chair. We don't need a chimney to let Santa in the house, we've got broadband.

Santa's big bag of toys, yep that too has been trimmed down. It's now a messenger bag that carries a toy, a book, and an outfit. The lack of a plural 's' shouldn't cause you a great sense of alarm-you've got Grandmas. Mommy will also buy you a "few" things before Daddy freezes her debit card in a five gallon bucket of ice.

You may worry about the myth unraveling with some of the historical depictions of Father Christmas that float around at this time of year. I'm really not. Pull up a picture of George Washington and President Obama. Things Change--no stopping it. And the mall santa? Nope not worried there either. I'll just say "Tell me who's crying and who's smiling? That's right; the old people are smiling because he looks like the Santa they remember and the young people are crying because they can tell that he's a has been and a fake. Now keep walking we've got to get back to the car before we start being charged for parking. "

Can you think of any other things I need to make sure I include in my modern deception?

Comment below.

Oh and help make sure that even with the updates Santa continues to come through for all the kids around the world [or atleast those close at hand]. Pledge by clicking the change button in the sidebar. The Pledge dates start this Sunday every view after that will start to add up!!

Daily Read #22: The gifts that keep on giving....embarassment

They say it's the thought that counts but there are some gifts that looking back leave us wondering what were we thinking? Our collective society should now be ashamed with some of the mass chaos caused by some of the following. Whose childhood would have been drastically different (in a bad way) without opening one of the followingon Christmas day?

Remember the Furby? He cooed he talked blinked and even sang [which means in any given day he was as productive as a number of our nations elected officials]. He looked like the love child of an Ewok and a Mogwai (ala Gremlins). Can you imagine the personal embarassment that must rack those whose criminal record includes fighting over one of these on Black Friday?

Now the last picture might evoke a slight sentimental appreciation from those of you who grew up in the Chia Pet hayday and hey well if everyone was doing it, no need to feel embarrassed about it, right? [Think leisure suits]. So this is what kids did before the Internet? Sit and watch their Chia pet grow? What happened after it was done growing? Did you if you have to sheer it? Also what kind of plant was it? Alfalfa sprouts? Because then you could atleast eat the fruits of your labor. Because nothing says Christmas like Alfalfa sprouts.

Which of you has had the good fortune of seeing Billy the Big Mouth bass in person? The singing flopping fish that turns on with a motion sensor to startle and amuse those checking out the other manhood spoils mounted on your wall. [what 'manhood spoils' could I post on the wall? The windshield wipers I replaced a month ago -- unfortunately that's about it].

Magic Eye. Worst Fad ever. Totally alienated me and my semi-lazy right-eye. Could not do it and kind of believe it's the biggest hoax since the moon landing [okay so that probably happened]. "Yeah wow it's like jumping out at me. You can't see it? What's wrong with you?"

Tamagotchi, giga pets, digimon. Hate to admit I had one of these but then again I'm probably a better parent because of them. Okay so a tamagotchi was a little more demanding.

This was the 'it' toy of 1991--the year our giant purple friend made his unfortunate debut. The thing that surprises me is that you would think this had a fairly narrow demographic that was much smaller than the number that sold. I want to know who the unfortunate soul is that at 13 had to thank his Grandma for the great gift.

Now at what point are you beanie baby barons going to sell your treasure trove of mint condition heart tag covered plush pets? Do you really think these things are going to make it on Antiques Roadshow 2120? Of course your lucky posterity will likely keep them then too as the viewing audience screams sell, sell, sell--after all they will be legacy pieces.

Need I say more!
At least it gets worse...

Nothing says 'To Catch a Predator' like tickle me elmo gloves.

Well to get to the point [thank you for indulging me], Books may never be the 'it' item of the season but I can think of very few that come back to haunt you. Sure there are fad books, Goosebumps, Babysitter's club, and so forth but are you ever embarrassed that you read them? Billy the Big mouth Bass embarrased? Not likely.

Which brings us back to the reason for the season. From Dec 5 - Dec 18 for every visit to Goodreadsforgooddeeds a donation will be made to buy books for the Sub for Santa program. So in the very least make sure you stop in every day and send over a friend or two.

If you, like me, think that under every kid's Christmas Tree there should be atleast one book between the Tickle me Elmo and Tamagotchi, then please pledge. You can pledge any amount you are comfortable with and for any length of the contest one day to two weeks. Click on the 'Change' button in the Left side button for more information.

Daily Read #21: Just have to get this out before I get all Kris Kringle

I have developed a little bit of scrooge reputation. I will admit that it's not completely unfounded. It's not intended to be ill-natured I just like to give all of my holidays their own space. My mental calendar resembles an elementary school lunch tray. I don't like my holidays touching anymore than I would like to dry my underwear in same dryer with that of my neighbors. Call me irrational.

I don't understand how some people can carve pumpkins while listening to Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire and munching on Cadbury eggs with their Valentine.

And don't even get me started on people that turn their Christmas lights back on to add to the color of a Fourth of July celebration. [If I'm ever mayor for a day, fines will be assessed to those houses that keep Christmas lights on after the groundhog's prediction for spring has passed.]

There are some things that I don't mind if they stick around in remembrance of Christmas past and future like Andes Mints and Orange Sticks but Cherry cordials have a very short shelf life and must be consumed before the final bowl game. [Which company makes cherry cordials? maybe they could sponsor their own bowl game; maybe BYU could go to a bowl game after all--The Cherry Cordial Bowl].

Does anyone drink egg-nog outside of a window of 15 days before or after winter solstice? I'm pretty sure the reason the earth tilts so far back at the solstice is because of all you egg-nog chugglers. I think it's the one food the FDA doesn't require nutritional information on seeing as how it shares a frightening number of health benefits with Draino. I get the whole restriction on how many bottles of sudafed one person can buy, but where are the regulations on people buying enough eggnog to marinade a Christmas Luau pig (We'll call the dish Mele Kalikimaka youfat).

What about wassail? I'm pretty sure drinking wassail on any day other than December 24th or 25th is hazardous to your health. Hey I'll bottoms up a glass of that hot spiced punch with the best of them but it better be while waiting to hear reindeer on my roof.

Speaking of reindeer. Have you seen reindeer at the zoo during their 'off season'--saddest lot of ruminants to ever walk the planet. They make the sloths look perky.

So a friend of friend of friend told me their sister's cousin's doula*read in the Huffington Post that It's a Wonderful Life and White Christmas were played on loop in Guantanamo Bay? I know I'd be singing like a canary before Clarence got his wings for the third time. But it's probably not true or else we would have caught Bin Laden by now. *[I try to keep six degrees of separation between myself and anyone that reads the Huffington Post].

All right I'll stop before someone a little more 'holly jolly' grinds up a poinsetta and leaves it in a fruit cake on my front porch. [I know, I know nobody actually eats fruit cake but the impending end to my semester tends to make me eat a lot of anything in large quantities. I can't sell back any of my books because most of them look like they were used to support a wobbly table in a soup kitchen.]

One Christmasey thing I do wish we would do more abundantly year round is give.*
Click the change button in the side bar and pledge today. If you listen carefully when you click the submit button you can hear the rumble of the Polar Express.

*Okay shameless manipulation of holiday guilt but it can't be worse than that Salvation Army bell.

Thanks from the Palmer Family

Dear Friends, Family and likely even Strangers,

I know we've said thank you on here numerous times, but I feel like I can't say it enough. The love and support that we've felt from you has been overwhelming. Within literally seconds of winning, we were inundated with texts, emails, and facebook posts. Everyone saying congratulations and expressing how happy they were for us. It was such a fun day! How truly blessed we are to be surrounded by such selfless people. We are so excited to have Ryan's eyes fixed for Christmas. What a great gift that will be! However, we both feel that what this contest has really given us is the sweet reminder of how much we are loved and we are touched by this.

We'll keep you updated on the blog about Ryan's upcoming surgery. I'm guessing that it will be scheduled soon. Within the next week probably. Also, I really hope that you will keep following Judson's blog. I know we definitely will be. He's a very talented writer and for him to use his talent to help others is just evidence of his selfless and kind nature. It will give us the chance to pay it forward in some small way and help others.

Thank you so very, very much!
Ryan, Rachel and the Girls

Daily Read #20: One Down; One to Go

Well if you missed the excitement yesterday, the maiden voyage of Good Reads for Good Deeds can be deemed a success. The Palmer Family's video for father, Ryan, to receive free Lasik surgery was declared winner of the humorous category.

Give yourself a big pat on the back if you helped out by voting and getting friends to vote. Truly couldn't have happened to a better family or in a better way. Don't worry we're not done yet either.

The Rachel and Ryan Palmer Edition of Good Reads proved that there is power to be harnessed all around us to accomplish good things. While Good Reads will have to take a different approach at accomplishing these good things, I'm quite confident we can and quite hopeful we will.

So about midway through the Hoopes Vision Video contest, I started looking ahead and thinking of how we could keep up the momentum we were gaining after Ryan had his new 'eyeballs'. I knew that that particular good deed was unique in that it only required daily clicks to accomplish; unfortunately few other good deeds are quite so easy. I knew that in order for good to be done there would have to be some green stuff and I don't mean pine boughs or holly.

Then I thought of the free car wash fundraisers that high school cheerleaders often carry out. People in the community pledge to donate $X amount per car washed and then after the wash the cheerleaders report how many cars were washed and the pledges are collected. Now before you start having visions of me in a wet white T-shirt sudsing up your Buick [shudder, shudder, shudder], this model is obviously going to be manipulated to fit the constraints of the blogosphere. Instead of pledges for car washes we pledge for blog visits.

Each month there will be a good cause spotlighted. Generous donors will be eager to donate to this cause in the form of pledges of anywhere from $.001-to $1,000 per 'good read' [I'd imagine most would fall closer to the former but everything would add up]. Because of the variability of the internet and hopefully the interest that all y'all will drum up, Pledgers will be able to set maximum pledge limits if they like or let it all play out (Philanthropy Gambling where you want the house to win and win big:). A pledge can also vary in length from anywhere from a single day to the Good Deed duration. Pledges will be collected after via the method most comfortable for the pledger and feasible for Good Reads i.e. PayPal, Mailed checks or even cash pick up.

So where do you fit in? There are good deeds that fit every one and. Doing any one of the following or in combination will be more than sufficient.

1. Keep reading: a daily visit will translate to a donation.
2. Get others here: the more the merrier under this model. Promote posts you like, put us in your sidebar, tweet, text or telegraph your friends.
3. Consider a pledge: If you have the means to consider pledging for a good deed, please do. It is completely adaptable to what you are able to contribute. Good reads averaged 60 visits per day during the Palmer Edition. Making a pledge of a penny per visit would have translated to about 10 dollars. Making a pledge of a tenth of a penny (an option that even the salvation army can't give you) would be a pledge of a dollar. These figures of course could further be adapted by adjusting the pledge dates
4. Give us Feedback: let us know what posts you like, what you think would be popular, offer suggestions of future good deeds or even to guest author a post.

Clicking the Change button in the sidebar will take you to the pledge form that will likely make that process easier to visualize.

So now you may be wondering what is this good deed all about.
As you may already be aware of [unless you're like me and filter out holiday cheer until after Finals] 'tis the most wonderful time of the year. There are lot of good opportunities to help out others around the holiday and I think it's one of those times when the majority of people recognize a need to help others.

I've spent a couple of days looking into what I felt would be the best next good deed. In both my searching and reflecting I've continued to think about positive experiences with the United Way based Sub for Santa program. Many of you may be familiar with this program that provides Christmas presents for families in need or special circumstances. As I visited their website I came across a page of recommended books for donation. This is when inspiration struck. Previously I've thought of these donations in two forms coats and pajamas and then toys.

I would have never thought of donating a book. But the more I've thought of it since, the more I want to and not just one but many.

For several reasons, for example some of the most lasting memories of christmas gifts are books I received. Second there is something about a kid owning his own books that I think empowers him to own his own education. I look at reading as both an escape hatch and a ladder. Books provide an immediate retreat from one's current surroundings but they also provide a long term path upwards. Literacy elevates the mind and it elevates the person. Finally I think the whole book donation activity fits our theme here of Good Reads and I'm all about a cohesive theme.

So the plan: raise money for books for the Sub for Santa program. Pledge, View, and/or get as many people as you can to do the same.

Email me at goodreads4gooddeeds@gmail.com with questions or leave a comment.

Again thank you for being interested.
I'll do my best to keep you interested.

The Sound of Silence

Just for those of you that didn't suffer through an hour of grating banter on X96 Radio from Hell. You will be happy to know that you did not miss out.

For reasons unknown the winners of the contest were not announced. In contacting Hoopes they said that the winners were still being selected and that an announcement would be posted to their facebook page and the contest website within the next couple of hours.

Keep your fingers crossed that no news is good news.

We'll let you know as soon as we hear anything so keep checking the blog. Blog Traffic :) Real Traffic :(

Daily Read #19: Wait. The 4-letter word of the moment.

Well polls are closed and now we wait, wondering:We probably don't even have sufficient information to wonder but I think those of us most closely involved can share a degree of confidence that the sum of our efforts was enough. Not necessarily enough to win, but certainly enough to feel that we did our best. Enough for Ryan and Rachel to know that they are supported, loved and respected.

How are you feeling? I remember being at the hospital before, during and after the birth of my first hungering for someone to ask me that. Granted I didn't know how I would have answered it but it's nice to know that someone is thinking it.

Are you sad to have Good Reads end?

Is Good Reads ending?

No I don't think it is. What else am I going to do between the hours of 4:30-6:00 am. However, I want to respect the anticipatory hush that has fallen over the blogosphere as we wait to find out what will happen to 'My Dads Eyes'.

Thank you again for your interest and the investment of attention this has been. Mama's right there are good people everywhere you go, because wherever you go there you be and you be good.

Just something for your mind to chew on while you wait.

Results will be announced sometime between 9-10 on X96 a Salt Lake City Area Alternative rock station during their morning show ironically named 'Radio from Hell' Oh, how I wish it had a different name . The station does have an online streaming option you may be able to access here. I'm not responsible for their website's vibe nor content so proceed at your own risk. I couldn't get the online streaming to work. I think it might be a Mac Compatibility issue because Ryan said he was able to get it on his PC but try anyway.

We'll post what we know when we know it.

Daily Read #18: Serving the Servers

Got Vote? (My Dad's Eyes) http://contest.hoopesvision.com/vote.html

So in most parts of the world it's Sunday for atleast another few hours, which means you are likely looking for ways to do good - in a Sabbath sort of way. Here is a very easy one.

On Facebook? Set this as your status.

Just helped an awesome guy/husband/father/war vet in his family's attempt to win him free Lasik. Click the link below and vote for My Dad's Eyes in the Humorous category.
http://contest.hoopesvision.com/vote.html

On Twitter? Send this tweet out to your followers.

Help a guy/husband/father/war vet win Lasik. Vote for My Dad's Eyes in the humorous category http://contest.hoopesvision.com/vote.html

More an email kind of person? Copy, Paste and Send this message to some of your nearest and dearest.

Hey [Friend], (Insert name here for maximum impact)

I know you love helping people out so I thought of you when I got to pitch in with this. A very deserving guy/husband/father/war vet is in the finals to win a video contest for free Lasik. His wife and daughters entered him and really want this to be a great Christmas present for their entire family. You can watch the video 'My Dad's Eyes (kid drawn picture of man in blue striped pajamas) in the funny category here: http://contest.hoopesvision.com/finalists.html

You can vote for him to win here http://contest.hoopesvision.com/vote.html. Choose My Dads Eyes in the Humorous category.

If you want to learn more about the guy or his family there's a lot of information at this blog: goodreadsforgooddeeds.blogspot.com

Really please do vote today [11/28] before midnight.

Thanks for always being a good example to me of selfless service!

Your name.

Remember when we're helping we're happy. When we help others people help too it can only make us happier. Rachel and Ryan appreciate your help a lot and every little bit you could do today, the last day to vote, will be awesome.

Now to give you maximum time to get out the word and really rally votes, today I'll keep the rest of my message short.

Hopefully you've got a sense for who Ryan and Rachel are through this blog. In addition to rewarding you with warm fuzzies and a couple of honest chuckles for your efforts in consistently voting, I wanted to give them the well deserved praise for who they are and what they do. Winning or not winning a contest won't take away the many valuable contributions they've both made in my life and the lives of many others.

I've decided that we have too much fascination in our society for people who are increasingly narcissistic, bizarre, unstable, masochistic, amoral or immoral. We worship/follow/absorb the opinions/lifestyles/promotions of people that we know only in 2-D on TV, Magazine covers, the Internet. I think we often see them for what they are but that doesn't make us want to look away.

Here's to two very honorable people who live ordinary lives with extraordinarily good intentions and who more often than not nurture these good intentions into good actions.

Ryan and Rachel have taught me of the power that serving others can have in refocusing all of your focus, worry and stress from yourself and diffusing it onto a much more deserving world.

In their church callings: Rachel spent most of the last year being both Young Women's camp directer and Cubscout Master [I'd imagine that either one of these would make most people's top 3 least desired callings so to have both simultaneously and not just accept them but magnify them is admirable to say the least. Ryan is currently serving in both his Ward's Young Men's presidency and the Stake's young men's presidency. I can't think of better people to serve in positions where young people are shaping their personal expectations for who they should become. With Ryan or Rachel as their gold standard, the Richfield area youth will move towards adulthood empowered by decency, hardwork, service, compassion and joyful living.

Rachel and Ryan have also shown that we should never limit our ability to influence others in a positive way by only serving within religious denomination. Ryan volunteers significant amounts of his time and talents for the local high school sports teams. Very few other schools in the state let alone one their size has access to an athletic trainer like RHS does. Rachel serves as part of the Family Readiness Group (the organized family group) for the 222 National Guard unit. The national guard knows that their units strength is no greater than the sum strength of each members individual family. The FRG's purpose is to provide guard wives and mothers with the tools they need to maintain their sanity leading up to/during and following an activation. Strong families = strong servicemen.

Add to this the good works that they do in their own home raising bright and polite little girls who will one day show the world that there is power in goodness and virtue and the strength that they both give to their individual families and hopefully you can see why I can without a shred of hesitation promote them to have some of that good they send out to the world reverberate back their way.

Thank you for your help.
Thank you for your time.
Thank you for voting. http://contest.hoopesvision.com/vote.html
Thank you for getting out the vote.

We'll keep you posted tomorrow. There will likely be two posts tomorrow a pre-game show if you will before 9:00 am and a post announcement celebration post that very well rests on your ability and willingness to get your friends, family and communities to pitch in and vote. We fully anticipate that this will be very very close. Every vote counts.

Voting closes tonight at 11:00 pm MST.