Daily #25: Do you remember the 5th of December?

Okay so if you know me you already know but if you don't you might as well know now.

I hate winter.

Just so there is no question:

I hate winter.

In fact I think the primary reason I have some reputation for not oozing Christmas cheer is that I just project my dislike for winter onto everything in winter's path. Not to mention the whole holly jolly cheery pockets full of mirth attitude that runs rampant this time of year stands in such sharp contrast to my internal state because of the cold and the snow and the short days that it makes me kind of angry.

Not helping the situation is the realization that the reason for the season didn't happen in this season at all. It's some arbitrary dropping of what could be a fantastic holiday if it say happened in June or August onto pretty much the worst place on a calendar it could fall.

Would Bing Crosby's baritone sound any less romantic if he was singing

"I'm dreaming of a bright Christmas."

Or

"T-bones roasting on an open grill"

Okay so I think you get the point and I've found that there is no converting Winter people. [With my inlaws I often feel like an atheist who's stumbled into a Southern Baptist Revival, I just don't get the jubilation but sure pass me a tamborine I'd hate to dampen the mood]

There has been one very good thing to happen in the winter. Arguably the best thing that ever happened to me in the winter or any season for that matter. I think there is some divine irony that can be credited for that. Any guesses?

Five years ago today I met my wife and as my cell phone will tell you 'My best friend'. [She set the ringtone as this to make it awkward for everyone around me when she calls and I push ignore rather than interrupt the conversation. Judge not lest ye be Judged'

The easiest one liner response with how I met my wife is the 'We met at BYU'. Not a huge fan of this response because it conjures up images of star struck lovers at Helaman Halls, a eager beaver American Heritage TA and a freshman that just needs to pass, and the FHE Mom and Dad who decided to extend their current calling into the eternities.

The only reason the 'we met at BYU' response holds any value is that we were both enrolled there when we met. But that was about it.

It was a blind date actually; a classmate of hers a neighbor/friend/former girlfriends cousin of mine set us up.

I was on a kick of okay nothing's really working out for me here so let's do everything different.

Which meant I would take a blind date to a company Christmas party--when I was working at a call center. Yep really deft move, I know. Because nothing impresses a girl more than your position at the bottom of a call center chain of command.

Don't worry I get more impressive. Script from first call. I was in the BYU library.

Me: Hi is Jan Burn-HAM there? [It's /burn/um/- Got that a while later; also dork marking me the number I had was her cell phone so of course Jan Burnham was there. I figured that after probably 30 calls which of course started with 'Hi! Is Jan there?' Always her responding Hi Judson. Oh Hi, Jan. Do you just sit in your apartment by the phone waiting for my call?']

Jan: This is Jan.

Me: [Call Center tenor] Hi, Jan this is Judson* Hart Camille's friend [well articulated 'Judson' because people have a hard time with that]

Jan: Oh hi.

Me: So Camille said you might be available to go out next week. [I don't know for sure but I would guess I was this abrupt].

Jan: Um yeah. What day was that?

Me: Next Monday night. It's this Christmas work thing.

Jan: (Darn the only thing I have Monday is FHE with four foot Paul) Yeah I think that would work.

Me: Great, and actually I have a friend who needs a date so if you have a roommate or friend that wants to come too that would be awesome.

Jan: (relief, well he at least has one friend). Yeah I think I could find someone that would go. I'll let you know if not.

Me: (the line that will live in marital infamy) Thanks and I know that it's finals and I respect your time so we'll pick you up at 7 and bring you back by 9.

Jan: (who says things like that) Oh okay. Thanks.

Me: See you then.

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So in keeping with the 'let's do things differently' theme. I bought an entire new outfit. Well it started out as just a shirt and then it snowed so I bought a jacket and then I worried that jeans were not going to be dressy enough to wear to a call center dinner at the then UVSC ballroom so I bought a pair of khaki's at the BYU bookstore before I cleaned my car on my way to pick my friend and then her and her friend up.

Get to her apartment. There is still a pumpkin outside her door from Halloween. I take this as a good omen having grown pumpkins for a good part of my life.

Ring the door. She answers looking even better than the pictures I was shown earlier [Always a good thing]. We exchange awkward introductions and walk to the car.

I turn my wit up a couple of notches as we drive to UVSC which means that it was likely hovering right around the conversational equivalent of Gene Kelly. I may make that look easy but it does require some cognitive resources which I withdrew from those allocated for driving. Not to fear that it increased my recklessness contrarily I just went from driving like a 50 year old man to driving like an 80 year old woman taking her driver's ed test.

40 minutes later we reach UVU and park. 30 minutes later the four of us find the Ballroom [UVU is about as navigable as the Parisian sewer] We get to the door only to realize I left our tickets in my car. That allows Jan and I some time alone as we go back to the car to get our tickets.

There were lots of things that I immediately liked about Jan but three in particular that stand out.

First her laugh. Jan's laugh had this quality of sincerity to it. You know that laugh that some people pull out in awkward initial situations. Not that what's being said isn't kind of funny but it isn't THAT funny. I wasn't a 100% percent sure if she was laughing at what I was saying or laughing at me for saying it but either way her laugh said that which ever it was she geniunely thought it was funny.

The second was that she came across as completely grounded; she had a very clear picture of who she was and what she was doing at the time and she was completely secure in it. Contrasted with me at the same point and time and this was a very enviable trait. I craved that security and from our initial interaction wondered if it was transferable.

Third the ease of conversation. Perhaps it's a combination of one and two but the interaction between us was effortless. Have you ever had a dream where you are running between two points that you know are well beyond your current fitness level but you aren't winded in the slightest? It was kind of like that and left me thinking I could do this forever.

So the date will live in infamy for being second rate in most respects, the food, the comedy act, the very long speech from the CEO but what we wouldn't give to live the night again. Actually I know what we would give---an entire six months. I left the job shortly after the Christmas party but then I would pick it up six months later right before we got married. The motivation was in large part because of how romantic I thought it would be to go to the Christmas party one year later. Imagine my disgust when in lieu of a Christmas party we got 20 dollar gift cards to Walmart.

Best decision I ever made was sending an email the next day as a follow up Thank you. This was also part of the 'do it different' campaign and one of the take away points from a Young Men's Courtship fireside. I like to think that introducing a writing element to our relationship was about the same as Mario Lopez getting his shirt snagged in the closing doors of a subway and ripped off as the train pulls away--a subtle way of putting one of the more attractive parts of your person right out there. The rest is history.

Thanks, Love. Here's to five on 12/5.