Daily Read #27: Nothing says Christmas like A Sing Along.

So it seems like every year the ACLU is suing at least one school organization around Christmas time for infringing on some student's personal right to have a personal space free from all religious influences or innuendos.

No I don't intend this to be a post related to whether or not such sterility should be tenet of a free society rather to tell you that I grew up at the waning stages of a very different era.

Not only did our school calendars indicate not a Winter Break or Holiday Break but a straight up Christmas Break, 'Merry Christmas'es were passed around like the flu; we didn't just say it--we sang it.

At South El mentary [we lost the 'E' in 76 and must not have had the budget to replace it] We had a ginormous Christmas tree in our school's gym [we may or may not have had a nativity too, I don't remember] and we would gather daily throughout December for singing round the Christmas Tree. Until 2nd grade or so I'm quite certain we sang for several hours a day. The older students who already knew the songs would just come in for the last hour. So we had 2nd graders who probably couldn't read yet but knew all 5 verses of Silent Night with Sign Language.

I'm not certain if they still do 'Singin' round the Christmas Tree'. I would estimate there is a good chance that even South Elementary has contracted a little 'pc'. If so, it's now Singing round the Picea pungens.'

However, they'll have to go through a lot of the songs that we used to sing and shape 'em up or ship 'em out.

There are some that can stay:

• Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer: highlights the damaging effects of bullying.
• Rocking around the Christmas Tree: seems to praise holiday hedonism and early experimentation both of which are okay for public schools particularly if you change it to 'Rocking around the Xmas tree.'
• Feliz Navidad: Bilingual education is hot right now.
• 'Don we now our gay apparel.': It gets to stay because it would be a hate crime if we tried to take it out. Not to mention it gives one of the lunchladies a shout out with, 'Troll the ancient yuletide Carol'.
• Must Be Santa: The only thing wrong with this song is the title. Grammatically it's quite confusing. It gives me visions of children with blank stares repeating over and over must be Santa. Must be Santa.
  
• All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth: Every parents dream is for this Christmas list.
• Crazy Frog Christmas Songs: Yep the ACLU should have no problem with this one. Might be animal exploitation but they'll leave that to PETA. [Can you exploit animated animals?]
• I'll be home for Christmas: The teachers are all singing this strong while thinking more importantly 'You'll be home for Christmas'; nothing promotes Teacher appreciation like a long period without school. Teachers would get a larger christmas gift if they asked there students to bring them after the break.
  
• Jingle Bells: but only the first verse. I don't know who Ms Fanny bright is and what the other sheninagans are all about; other than I don't know that they are appropriate for children.

Acceptable with Revisions:

• I'm dreaming of a White Christmas will need to become 'I'm dreaming of a diverse winter break'.
  
• 'We three kings of Israel' would have to be 'We three kings (and 3 Queens) of Israel' Although the Obama administration would like us to temper the pro Israel Agenda in this country so maybe we should move this down a couple of notches.
  
• Frosty shouldn't be smoking so he'll have to find something else to do with that corn cob.
  
• 'Oh little town of Bethlehem,' Little is such a pejorative--so is town.
• 'We wish you a Contented Solstice' fits as equally well to the tune of 'We wish you a merry Christmas'

There are some that are acceptably PC but strike out for other reasons,

• Twelve Days of Christmas: Counting is tough. Learning should always be fun. Math can be outsourced.
• I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus: Would strike a tender chord for anyone from a broken home.
  
• Oh Christmas Tree: A. nobody knows what 'verdant' means. B. I'm pretty sure it promotes putting flammable items on Christmas tree's which is never a good thing for fake or real trees.
  
• Grandma should not be drinking too much of anything and hit and runs are no joke.
• Chestnuts Roasting: Elementary students will have a hard time singing about 'chestnuts' without a loss of 'maturity'; they're not quite sure if they have them or if they are waiting to have them but they're quite sure they don't want them on an open fire.
• Santa Baby: I might be misreading the lyrics but I'm pretty sure this one promotes teenage pregnancy. I mean a convertible, the deed, a duplex and a ring. Might as well be the theme song for a holiday version of Sixteen and Pregnant.
  
• Suzy Snowflake: Again I think that someone's getting exploited here. Suzy needs a shelter not a theme song.
• All I want for Christmas is You: I don't think we sang this one but just in case. Stalking should be taken seriously and this song screams creeper to me.

Striken/Strucken: No need revising they are DOA.

• Angels we have heard on high and Hark the Herald Angels Sing: No explanation should be neede. Great Songs but not in the pc hymnal.
• Away in a Manger: Yep difficult to take a more secular approach with this one.
• God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman: A resting man is the result of a working woman and there is nothing in the song that conveys that.
• What Child is this? The title here is fine and in fact would be quite an appropriate question to ask when one of the little ones on the front row has an instance of Yuletide enthusiasm out matching his bladder control. [Everything else is entirely too overtly proselytic]
• As are Silent Night, Oh Come all Ye Faithful, and the Hallelujah Chorus......
  

Political Correctness is exhausting and has left me with one song that doesn't fit into any of these categories but matches the summative theme quite well.