Thursday, December 2, 2010

Daily Read #22: The gifts that keep on giving....embarassment

They say it's the thought that counts but there are some gifts that looking back leave us wondering what were we thinking? Our collective society should now be ashamed with some of the mass chaos caused by some of the following. Whose childhood would have been drastically different (in a bad way) without opening one of the followingon Christmas day?

Remember the Furby? He cooed he talked blinked and even sang [which means in any given day he was as productive as a number of our nations elected officials]. He looked like the love child of an Ewok and a Mogwai (ala Gremlins). Can you imagine the personal embarassment that must rack those whose criminal record includes fighting over one of these on Black Friday?


Now the last picture might evoke a slight sentimental appreciation from those of you who grew up in the Chia Pet hayday and hey well if everyone was doing it, no need to feel embarrassed about it, right? [Think leisure suits]. So this is what kids did before the Internet? Sit and watch their Chia pet grow? What happened after it was done growing? Did you if you have to sheer it? Also what kind of plant was it? Alfalfa sprouts? Because then you could atleast eat the fruits of your labor. Because nothing says Christmas like Alfalfa sprouts.


Which of you has had the good fortune of seeing Billy the Big Mouth bass in person? The singing flopping fish that turns on with a motion sensor to startle and amuse those checking out the other manhood spoils mounted on your wall. [what 'manhood spoils' could I post on the wall? The windshield wipers I replaced a month ago -- unfortunately that's about it].

Magic Eye. Worst Fad ever. Totally alienated me and my semi-lazy right-eye. Could not do it and kind of believe it's the biggest hoax since the moon landing [okay so that probably happened]. "Yeah wow it's like jumping out at me. You can't see it? What's wrong with you?"


Tamagotchi, giga pets, digimon. Hate to admit I had one of these but then again I'm probably a better parent because of them. Okay so a tamagotchi was a little more demanding.


This was the 'it' toy of 1991--the year our giant purple friend made his unfortunate debut. The thing that surprises me is that you would think this had a fairly narrow demographic that was much smaller than the number that sold. I want to know who the unfortunate soul is that at 13 had to thank his Grandma for the great gift.


Now at what point are you beanie baby barons going to sell your treasure trove of mint condition heart tag covered plush pets? Do you really think these things are going to make it on Antiques Roadshow 2120? Of course your lucky posterity will likely keep them then too as the viewing audience screams sell, sell, sell--after all they will be legacy pieces.

Need I say more!
At least it gets worse...


Nothing says 'To Catch a Predator' like tickle me elmo gloves.

Well to get to the point [thank you for indulging me], Books may never be the 'it' item of the season but I can think of very few that come back to haunt you. Sure there are fad books, Goosebumps, Babysitter's club, and so forth but are you ever embarrassed that you read them? Billy the Big mouth Bass embarrased? Not likely.

Which brings us back to the reason for the season. From Dec 5 - Dec 18 for every visit to Goodreadsforgooddeeds a donation will be made to buy books for the Sub for Santa program. So in the very least make sure you stop in every day and send over a friend or two.

If you, like me, think that under every kid's Christmas Tree there should be atleast one book between the Tickle me Elmo and Tamagotchi, then please pledge. You can pledge any amount you are comfortable with and for any length of the contest one day to two weeks. Click on the 'Change' button in the Left side button for more information.

3 comments:

Ryan said...

I had one of the Billy Bass fish scare the snot out of me one night when I was cleaning the DI. The creepy fish started singing as I walked by sweeping. It about got a Donatello bow staff attack from a push broom. (speaking of fad toys, TMNT)

That "To Catch a Predator" thing cracked me up. Thanks for the good read.

Rachel said...

Good thing that Obama Chia pet I got you for Christmas is refundable.

Judson Hart said...

Funny/Sad Story Ryan. Funny that it happened, Sad that a Billy the Big Mouth bass ended up at DI.

TMNT crossed my mind as did CPK and My Little pony but all three did much better at developing brand identity that came across as less gimmicky.

Elmo obviously has done well in developing a lasting brand but that doesn't make those two toys any less annoying/disturbing.

Rachel I won't be returning any gifted Chia pet. If you buy anything Obama branded I know that truly is a gift from the heart.